Turkey Frank

I just happened across a great, albeit tragic, story on CNN's iReport page about a turkey named Frank who thought he was a duck. It's written by Frank's former owner, Jack Scheper, who has a pretty good sense of humor.

Frank was always running into the lake and he couldn't swim, and Jack felt he should be away from water, with other turkeys. So Jack gave Frank back to the lady who ran the feed store. But guess what? The feed store lady ATE HIM!

Here are the best parts of Jack's recounting. His writing has such a great cranky old man tone.:

Frank truly believed himself to be a duck. For some reason I found this annoying. But tolerance is a virtue, so if he wanted to be a duck that was his business.

. . .

Suddenly the ducks spotted me and excitedly swam in my direction hoping for the usual cracked corn handout. Desperately afraid he'd miss his share of the snack, Frank frantically splashed toward me too. Thrashing, wheezing, gasping,with eyes bugging and tongue hanging from his beak I could tell this turkey was in trouble. I came to the rescue by shoving a leaf rake under his fat butt and maneuvered him to shore. His eyes were crossed and he was hyperventilating but he managed to cough in appreciation. It was heartbreaking and pathetic.

. . .

When I came across these old pictures of Turkey Frank I felt nostalgic so I decided to share his story and the lesson he taught me. I have yet to figure out exactly what I learned but maybe it is this: No matter how much you think you're a duck, people will still eat you on Thanksgiving if you're actually a turkey.

. . .

Every Thanksgiving, because of Frank, I give thanks for who (and what) I am and for all that I have. I also want to say Rest in peace Turkey Frank, I'm sorry they ate you.

R.I.P., T.F.