Turkey Pardon Streaming LIVE!

Oh man. The Presidential Turkey Pardon is streaming live today on the White House website.

The White House even made an official preview video.



Of course they didn't say what TIME the live stream would take place. But I'll find out and let you guys know.

UPDATE: OMG, it's happening NOW! It started at 11:30 and the girls are there!!!!!!!!!!

Pumpkin and Pecan: Leftovers

How much do I wish that was the title of a reality show about the just-pardoned turkeys and their new celebrity life?



Here's a cute pic of a kid named Jack greeting Pumpkin in his little crate. Pumpkin flew first class with his handler from D.C. to Disneyland. Which is ridiculous. But also funny to imagine! I bet Pumpkin definitely smelled bad and made some screechy gobble-y turkey noises. I like to think of all the richies in first class getting their feathers ruffled (hee!) about having to share their cabin with a turkey, albeit a famous one.

Unfortunately I missed the Disneyland parade, of which Pumpkin was grand marshall, but I found this video of last year's parade so you can get an idea of what it looked like. The turkey shows up at 1:20.



I'm really bummed that the turkey wasn't wearing any little accoutrement. Like a tiny crown. I was picturing him with a crown, cape and scepter, like the king of the parade! Something like this:


Now that Thanksgiving is over, Pumpkin (and pinch-hitter turkey Pecan, who was also pardoned but didn't get to do any of the fun parade stuff, or fly first class) are living in some Disney farm.



"Where is my butler? I demand that you provide me with proper lodging! This is an outrage!"

THE END!

Turkey Frank

I just happened across a great, albeit tragic, story on CNN's iReport page about a turkey named Frank who thought he was a duck. It's written by Frank's former owner, Jack Scheper, who has a pretty good sense of humor.

Frank was always running into the lake and he couldn't swim, and Jack felt he should be away from water, with other turkeys. So Jack gave Frank back to the lady who ran the feed store. But guess what? The feed store lady ATE HIM!

Here are the best parts of Jack's recounting. His writing has such a great cranky old man tone.:

Frank truly believed himself to be a duck. For some reason I found this annoying. But tolerance is a virtue, so if he wanted to be a duck that was his business.

. . .

Suddenly the ducks spotted me and excitedly swam in my direction hoping for the usual cracked corn handout. Desperately afraid he'd miss his share of the snack, Frank frantically splashed toward me too. Thrashing, wheezing, gasping,with eyes bugging and tongue hanging from his beak I could tell this turkey was in trouble. I came to the rescue by shoving a leaf rake under his fat butt and maneuvered him to shore. His eyes were crossed and he was hyperventilating but he managed to cough in appreciation. It was heartbreaking and pathetic.

. . .

When I came across these old pictures of Turkey Frank I felt nostalgic so I decided to share his story and the lesson he taught me. I have yet to figure out exactly what I learned but maybe it is this: No matter how much you think you're a duck, people will still eat you on Thanksgiving if you're actually a turkey.

. . .

Every Thanksgiving, because of Frank, I give thanks for who (and what) I am and for all that I have. I also want to say Rest in peace Turkey Frank, I'm sorry they ate you.

R.I.P., T.F.

"I beg your pardon!"

President Bush pardoned his last turkey this morning, and all I could think was, "OH MAN! This is gonna be so cute when Obams does it next year!"

Here's a snippet of Bush's speech at the ceremony. I hate to admit this, but it is so totally adorable. (If you love hokey dad humor and puns, which I do.)

This is a tradition that dates back to the presidency of Harry Truman. Just to be safe, I will be pardoning a second bird-- in the unlikely event the main act chickens out. Turkeys are not only the ones on edge this morning -- you see, it turns out the Rose Garden is Barney's turf. So the press corps is a little nervous, as well.

This is an election year, so it is fitting that the names of these two birds were chosen through the democratic process. After a long, drawn out election season, when the people finally spoke, the name of the ticket sent here to the White House was Pumpkin and Pecan. Pumpkin is right there. Pecan is in an undisclosed location.

Pumpkin and Pecan have an exciting trip ahead of them: Later today, they will fly to Disneyland aboard "Turkey One." Pumpkin will be the honorary Grand Marshal of Disneyland's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Together these birds will gobble the rest of their days in "The Happiest Place on Earth." I just hope they stay humble there.

Isn't Pumpkin hilarious looking? He's so surly. Love it.